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Hooray I got a job! So why am I terrified?

cartoon of the perils of existing on one income, man hanging by a thread

After being unemployed for much longer than what could be called an extended holiday (eight months) I finally got a full time job. Yippee! I was employed again and could work to pay off the debts that I had incurred while being at “rest”.

What I didn’t expect was the fear. The fear, I felt from having only one stream of income. In the past, I had two different freelance jobs: one two days a week and a slightly better paid one, one day a week.  All in all this gave me a livable income while I happily pursued my entrepreneuristic dreams.

While I worked three days a week on my two free days and weekends, I would write for other websites (paid), scout for buttons for my Etsy shop, work with Lean Life clients, write this blog and work with clients on Twitter-Bee. Unfortunately, my smaller extra pursuits brought it money sporadically so I used it as pin money.

I have always felt safer having more than one income stream. Being in the workforce during a few recessions, I  have had the uncomfortable situation of a company not having enough cash flow to pay all its workers on time. This has happened to me more than once. I actually feel more secure having my eggs in various baskets as opposed to one.  If you work for several different clients then the chance of them all going wrong at the same time is hopefully pretty slim.

I find it strange that some people have so much faith in their bosses, in the system of –  if you go to work, they will pay you. I am too cynical to believe that.  I wish I were the type of person that can go to a job, work 40+ hours a week and be happy.  That is just not me.

I don’t know if I am addicted to the adrenaline of making things work for myself.  Or addicted to working very hard for shorter periods of time. The one thing I do know is that I am not very good at being a cog. I don’t like to be paid just to sit in an office from  8:30 – 6, regardless if there is any work to be done.

Now I am working my butt off to get back to zero with my debts and try to quietly build my sidelines so when I am caught up I can go back to being a freelance entrepreneur.

Does anyone feel the same way? Please tell me I am not the only freak that the ‘easy’ life worries.




3 thoughts on “Hooray I got a job! So why am I terrified?”

  1. Hey V – I was made redundant for the 4th time in the last 6 years several weeks ago. Unfortunately I’ve gotten sort of used to it…I don’t necessarily share the fear you have about income streams, but I’ve had it with being victim to other people’s decisions & the whims of the marketplace. I’m not sure what I’m doing yet – most likely getting another job. BUT treasure your gift of entrepreneurial ideas & motivation, and use it.

  2. Hey
    I understand what you mean, a lot of people who currently have jobs are in a similar situation were they feel like there stuck at a current place because they feel that there job is secure due to years served, therefore they stay at their current company even though they are able to get better jobs


  3. Hey Jay, thanks for taking the times to comment. I was writing more about being afraid of having all my income emanate from one source. Although, you are absolutely correct about people staying with positions they don’t like for the sake of security.

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