Lush Living Made Simple

Debt and the death of relationships - The Lean Times

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Apr 15, 2009 Relationships , , , , 5 Comments

 We all know how much being in debt takes out of us. The constant worry of whether we will be able to pay our bills in full, the juggling of funds, balancing the credit cards, overdrafts and direct debits. 

After being in debt for a while, you don’t even notice the strain of it.  We feel adept at dealing with our horrible, sometimes scary financial situation.  Putting out financial fires is almost second nature. We know what bank will increase our overdraft if we cry (yes I have cried for an increase) and which bank has a relationship with the one your mother banks with in the States so you can take money out without a huge fee.

Have you ever thought of what your money situation does to your love life?  I have gotten a much tighter rein on my financial situation in the past six months.  I am a freelancer so my income fluctuates from month to month but with the help of some savings put aside for a rainy day and my trusty bill calendar I have not gone overdrawn in ages.  I was doing ok, or so I thought.

But then Tiscali (my digital TV and Broadband provider) moved my direct debit without my noticing.  It was partially my fault for not looking at my bill as it is always the same amount every month.  So now, low and behold I was overdrawn and in stress overload.  Guess who I took it out on?  My lovely boyfriend of course – suddenly he could do nothing right, he ate too much of my food (we don’t live together), drank too much of the wine I bought and just didn’t understand, because he was not in my financial Hell. 

Is it easier to be single if your money situation is out of control?  I just wanted to be alone to eat dry rice as punishment for my terrible fiscal organisation. I was very angry with myself and when we are angry with ourselves we usually take it out on the people we love the most. 

Does the over extension of our finances wreak havoc on our relationships? Are more people deciding to remain single because of their debt? 


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